


I'm A Mindless Idiot

by junkster



Category: Workaholics (TV)
Genre: Dirty Talk, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 11:06:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10762998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junkster/pseuds/junkster
Summary: Sometimes Adam just wants a little oblivion. That's where Ders comes in (pun intended). Blake watches.





	I'm A Mindless Idiot

**Author's Note:**

> Absolute PWP, sorry! Oh, and a little sap, because Blake's a sweetheart.

  
Adam has coping mechanisms for when he wants his brain to shut the hell up. Sometimes booze does the trick, sometimes it’s dope, and sometimes it’s getting nailed by Ders. Even better when it’s all three.

What Blake finds endlessly crazy is watching them strike out time and again with girls at a bar, only to go home and have awesome, hot, pornog-worthy sex. As Adam would say, ‘those biotches have zero idea what they’re missing out on, bro’.

Blake loves to watch, of course. Not always - sometimes he wants to be right in the middle of that gorgeous sex-sandwich - but there’s something overwhelmingly hot about their height difference, and the battle for dominance, and seeing Adam slowly lose the capacity for speech. That right there is no mean feat. 

He loves to watch them start stripping as soon as they close the front door (sometimes in the driveway, if Adam’s really impatient). In the bedroom (Anders’, always), Anders drives Adam to distraction with his long fingers, and Adam kisses Anders ‘til they’re breathless. He watches Anders fuck Adam, slow and deep, and Adam make it all look so damned easy. A power bottom, through and through. 

He watches from a chair near the side of the bed, stripped to just his boxers, getting himself off in the shadows while they fuck on Anders’ bed, lit by the bedside lamp, a glorious tangle of nakedness. God, they’re hot as hell, Adam’s hands clenched in the sheets and his feet in the air while Anders screws him into the mattress with this slow, deep grind that blows Blake’s fucking mind. 

“I wish we’d all known a little sooner how good we are at this, bro, you know what I mean?” Adam says, huffing a laugh against Anders’ throat, the last couple of words choked out as Anders wraps a hand around his cock. “You’re nailing my g-spot like a fucking _pro_.”

“I guess at least I learned _something_ in college,” Anders rumbles against his ear, his forehead pressed to the pillow next to Adam’s head, his body pressing Adam down into the bed, covering him, blocking out the world. Blake knows intimately what it’s like to be in Adam’s position - Ders is without a doubt his favourite comfort blanket.

“Fuck, Ders.” Adam grins, tipping his head back as Anders rolls his hips. “I still can’t believe you ‘Debbie Does Dallas’ed the swim team.”

Blake can practically _feel_ Anders smirk. 

“Why the fuck else would I have had a hard on in the showers, man? I made my way through those sons of bitches one by one over, like, a coupla weeks.”

“You’re a gigantic man-whore,” Adam agrees in admiration and digs his fingers into Anders’ back, feeling the slide of muscles as he thrusts. “I’m glad you ended up with us, though, dude. You’re too deviant for the real world.”

Anders lifts his head, presses their foreheads together and totally upholds that by murmuring: “I’m gonna come inside you, okay?”

Adam keens. “Fuck yes you are.” 

“And you’re gonna come all over my chest, right?” 

“Some of it might even hit you in the face, bro, I’m just warning you right now, I’m about to bust...” 

Anders tilts his head to the side before dropping it back down to the pillow. “Maybe try and avoid that, since I don’t know what the hell that stuff’s made up of and if you get any in my eye I _will_ be cutting you off for the next two weeks.”

Adam drags in a deep breath and looks across as he slides a hand up Anders’ neck into his hair, fingers twisting. “You hear that, Blazer? You’d better hope my aim’s improved or else it’ll be your ass getting pounded for the next fourteen days! How’s it going over there, why’re you so far away from the action, man?”

Anders lifts his head up again and turns to rest his temple on Adam’s shoulder, fixing Blake with the full intensity of his gaze as he gives a particularly deep thrust. Blake bites his lip, hard. 

“Come make out with me,” Adam demands, stretching out his free arm to crook his fingers. “C’mere, I want your tongue in me.”

Blake smiles at that. “I’d love to, but I’m kinda torn, man, I’ve got the best view of Ders nailing your ass, right now. You should see it.”

“You’re right, I should, and we’re totally getting a floor to ceiling mirror for your room Ders - don't shake your head, dude - but in the meantime? Why don’t you get your tight little butthole over here and check out the technique up close, hmm?”

“Yeah,” Anders agrees. “Come get some of these DeMamp lips, man.”

“Or at least pour some beer down my throat or something,” Adam adds. “It’s thirsty work, banging, I realise that now! Very dry air, in here, Ders, dry guy. You should think about getting one of those humidifier things, man.”

“Good tip, thanks Adam.”

“I’m coming, sweetheart,” Blake promises, fishing around for his can on the floor and finding it miraculously still standing under Adam’s discarded shirt. “Henderson the hydrator is on his way…”

“This is awesome, you're like my fluffer, kind of, refuelling me so I can keep my boner,” Adam enthuses as Blake appears at his side, slipping a hand under his head to hold him up as he tips beer carefully into his open mouth. 

“Careful, man, don’t drown, there…”

“Unorthodox moment,” Anders notes in bemusement, mostly to himself.

“Sorry, Ders, you want some?”

“Nah, I’m good, man,” Ders says, reaching out a hand to slap Blake’s ass lightly. “‘M glad you’re here, though.”

Blake smiles sweetly and puts the beer down on the bedside cabinet, tucking his hair back behind his ear before leaning down to press a kiss to Anders’ temple. “Keep up the good work, dude, you’re putting on _quite_ the show, lemme tell you.”

Adam licks his lips and reaches up to wipe a hand across his mouth before pushing himself up far enough to find Anders’ mouth, kissing him and using the hand in his hair to pull him back down, the sudden make-out session interrupting the flow of Anders’ hips.

“ _Damn_ , you guys look so good together,” Blake sighs happily, sitting down on the bed and pulling his knees up, eyes devouring every inch of them. He buries a hand in Adam’s hair, rubbing his scalp slowly until he moans into Anders’ mouth, his toes pointing in the air. 

Anders breaks the kiss and shoots him a smile, pushing himself upright and reaching out to curl a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Blake closes the gap, kissing him with all the pent-up passion of the guy who’s been sitting in the corner, denying himself. Anders breathes hard through his nose from the exertion and Blake cups either side of his face, trying to convey everything he’s feeling right at that moment in the kiss.

"Dude, I think you might have something with this watching kink of yours," Adam says frankly. "I fucking love watching you guys make out, it makes my balls ache. I don't know how you manage to make it, like, sexy _and_ really, really adorable, but you do, and I'm impressed by that."

"Shut up, Adam," Anders says absently, his attention fully on Blake as they breathe, nose to nose, trading words between soft kisses. "Hey, Blazer."

"Hey, Ders," Blake says, reaching out to stroke Anders' hair across his forehead. It's gone all wavy and mussed, the product that holds it down at work long gone in the face of Adam's clutching hands. Anders reaches out in return and winds his fingers into the ends of Blake's curls, tugging gently.

"You sure you don't wanna join in tonight, dude? Even just, I mean, I know I'm terrible at it but I'd totally try my hand at a bj again, for you."

Blake smiles warmly at him, shaking his head. “Just keep doing what you're doing, man. You’re precious to me, you know that?” he murmurs, pressing another kiss to Anders’ mouth before adding softly: “I love you.”

Anders’ eyes change, that subtle softening with wonder that Adam’s do sometimes that always makes Blake’s heart hurt. He looks away before he can think too much about why ‘I love you’ is such a foreign phrase to his tied-first-best-friends, and strokes Adam’s face gently instead, smiling when Adam beams at him.

“I love you too,” Adam beats him to it, adding earnestly: “I love both you guys, so much, probably even more-so now that we’re fucking on a regular basis.”

Blake grins and goosebumps trail along his arms when one of Anders’ hands grazes his cheek lightly, fingers tracing the curve of his ear.

“Speaking of fucking,” he says, clearing his throat and giving Anders’ wrist a squeeze before laying himself down along Adam’s side, “I should totally let you guys get back to it. Sorry for the romantic interlude, dudes.”

“No problem,” Adam waves a hand in dismissal. “We know that’s part of your thing, man, that’s what gets you off, right? I mean for me, it’s having Ders looming over me in this big, studly way, because he helps me forget how small and insignificant and unattractive to women I amm _mmph_ -”

Anders clamps a hand over Adam’s mouth, hovering over him with a warning glance. “Hey. Don’t talk about my friend that way, okay?”

Blake smiles beatifically. 

Goddamnit, they’ve come a long way.

Adam moans and squirms and, as Anders pulls his hand away, gasps out: “I’m gonna come a long way tonight, Ders, I can feel it man! You better close your eyes this time bro!”

“Aim it at Blake, okay?” 

“Hey!”

“I could aim it at your mouth…”

Blake screws up his nose in apology. “You remember what happened last time? I almost died choking.”

“Yeah, we’re all _really_ bad at giving blowj’s.”

“Real talk,” Anders agrees, burying his head against Adam’s throat again as he picks up the pace. “Dude, can you take over down here? My arms’re getting tired.”

Adam grins as he shuts his eyes and tips his head back, sliding a hand down his belly to grab his cock as Anders’ hand moves away, jacking it hard. “Gimme some help, here, Blazer. Talk dirty to me, c’mon, I know the kinda filth that you’ve got stored away. Oh, and you’d better get cranking, man, ‘cause me and Ders’re getting close and I want you exploding _with_ us, okay? Simultaneous ejac.”

“Okay, I got this,” Blake says with a smile. "Let me get a dirty word in edgeways, man.” 

“Hell _yes_ , you're my boner buster,” Adam crows, turning his head on the pillow to watch Blake. “Fuck, I love watching you do your thing, bro. Always have.” 

“I wanna see you come, dude,” Blake tells him, lowering his voice. “I wanna see you come all over Ders’ chest.”

“Oh I intend to,” Adam promises through gritted teeth, tipping his head back as the muscles in his forearm tighten. 

“Jesus, I’d love to be in you right now, right where Ders is. He’s gonna come _inside_ you, man,” Blake murmurs. “He’s so fucking close, can you feel it?”

“I feel it, I feel it.”

“You feel his dick in you, all the way in you?”

“Yeah,” Adam gasps out. “Fuck, yes. We should totally do an anal train next time, dudes, you gotta get in on this action Blake, okay? You’d be in the middle, if we were doing height order, can you imagine? Your dick in my ass, Ders buried in yours? I think I’d lose my _mind_...”

Anders apparently agrees, if the way he moans into the crook of Adam’s neck is anything to go by. Blake has to speed up his own hand, feeling the imminent wave of euphoria approaching, lip caught between his teeth again as he watches Adam writhe in pleasure.

“You’re so super handsome right now, dude, your bod is totally toned and fit and gorgeous and I -”

“ _Thanks_...man,” Adam manages to gasp out before losing it, coming hard, his free hand gripping the back of Anders’ neck tightly and pulling him closer. Anders hunches in on him, arms curling under and around him in this entwining, protective way, holding their bodies together as he comes with shallow, bruising, stuttering thrusts, grinding in deep as Adam’s eyes slam shut.

“Fuck, Ders, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_!” he mantras, voice wrecked, his ankles crossing at the small of Anders’ back to hold him in place. 

Blake watches Anders’ hips snap forward once more, the curve of his spine, the sweat-damp hair at Adam’s temple, the way Adam’s hand creeps out from between their bellies to rest on Anders’ hip. He listens to them panting and cursing, the sudden cessation of the creak of the bed. He smells sweat and beer and pot, Adam’s gorgeous hair product and Anders’ clean, clean sheets. 

He tastes a little blood as he comes, biting his lip too hard. The world narrows down to Anders' familiar, safe bedroom until it's just them, the only three people alive who matter, his best friends in the world, and there's no anxiety, no responsibility, just banging, booze and bongs. Blake couldn't be happier for those few, precious moments.

"Oh god," Adam drawls, an arm flung over his eyes. "I've gone blind. Ders, you've fucked me blind, you a-hole."

Ders' sole response is a quiet groan. He tries to move, wary of crushing, but Adam's hand are still hanging onto him.

"Don't move yet, bro," Adam exhales. "I'm not a big snuggler and I'll fight anyone who says I am, but I actually don't want you to get off of me, ever."

"Mmkay," Ders mumbles into the pillow.

"Mmkay then," Adam repeats contentedly. "You okay, Blake?"

"Awesome," Blake sighs, heart still pounding in his chest, moving his head just enough to press a kiss to the curve of Adam's shoulder. "That was awesome."

"It's decided then, we don't move from here."

"Never? What about work tomorrow?"

Anders grumbles something unintelligible but clearly negative.

"Ders is right, don't be mentioning work during the afterglow, man."

"Sorry," Blake says with a smile. "You don't wanna think about Montez right now?"

He has to duck away from the chorus of 'Ew's and slapping hands.

Adam shakes his head and flicks Anders' temple lightly. "We need to get this man some fruit loops and red bull, stat. I need everyone to be ready for round two! I am _pumped_!"

"Dare I ask?"

"I don't know, Blazer," Adam says, fixing him with a smirk. " _Dare_ you?" 


End file.
